Hey Kids, it's ME... I bet you thought that I was dead...

Well, I'm alive...(cue Hallelujah chorus) The past few months, I was trying to find my self again. Somewhere down the crazy, emotional, bumpy journey of in.fertility I lost myself. I had stopped caring about MYSELF. 


About 4 weeks ago the Hubs and I had an RE apt. to go over options, and get a new prescription for met.formin (since I had run out). While we were there Dr. Honesty (the name I'm giving her because, every time I go see her she is painfully honest...which isn't a bad thing) told me that there was NO WAY I could do my IU.I with inject.ions until I got under a certain BM.I. 


This was a real REALITY CHECK... I had always assumed that I was the paying customer, and she would do as I told her... BOY WAS I WRONG. Dr. Honesty told me in the kindest way possible that if I wanted to do another procedure at that clinic, with her that I HAD to loose weight. I told you, painfully honest...


So in that moment, the Hubs and I decided that if she would have told us to do 10 jumping jacks, 189 somersaults, and drink 7 of the worst tasting smoothies and our chances of having a baby would go up almost 50% we wouldn't hesitate...BUT when she tell us I need to loose weight, I immediately think that's impossible... No not impossible. Hard, YES. Impossible, NO.      




So....we are ending our 4th week of doing Weigh.t Wat.chers and the Hubs has lost 24lbs and I have lost 12lbs. WOOOHOOO! We are doing it. 


I go back in Nov. for a weight check and bloodwork. Here's hoping that in Nov. we are scheduling our IUI. :)

Totally STRESSED!

Wow, its been a long time since my last post. I've got lots of things going on... aside from the ever long and heart-wrenching battle with IF, I've also been battling whether or not the Hubs and I should start looking for a house. A friend of mine suggested that we get in touch with a mortgage representative to find out if our credit was where it needed to be... its not... Which bring us to the title of this post, Totally STRESSED! Why? Well the Hubs and I decided, with the help of our mortgage lady, that we needed to save money and fix our credit. To do that, we are moving back in with my parents... scary, I know... so we are packing, moving, saving, paying off bills, TRYING to loose weight, AND doing a IUI treatment in June (hopefully). What am I thinking?!?!?! Part of me wants to just renew our lease at the apartment, but I know that would be a mistake. So, I guess its time to kick it into HIGH GEAR. 

On a separate note, I am contemplating "coming out" of the IF closet... Most everybody already knows, they just don't talk to me about it, which I guess thats my favorite part. If I do decide to "come out" the thing that will annoy me the most will be the unsolicited, and STUPID advice... So maybe I shouldn't add any more stress than I already have. 

So here is my question to you, what are some stress relievers you use? And mind you, I don't drink, so alcohol wont help. :)

Well, this was so unexpected...

Today I was given the Versatile Blogger award, it was so unexpected and I'm so honored. I was given the award by a new friend of mine Kat at Trying to Make 3. I hope you stop by and get to know her like I am going to do. Thanks Kat, I look forward to getting to know you!


So here's how this award works...


1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award up to 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Make sure you contact these bloggers to let them know about the award

7 Things about me...


1. My husband is my best friend.
2. My dog is my baby... I have an unhealthy love for her. lol
3. I am addicted to movies, I mean ADDICTED. The hubs and I go either every weekend or every other weekend.
4. I love making people laugh and I will go to any length to make it happen.
5. I'm addicted to COACH. 
6. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE crafting.
7. I AM THE BEST CAR DANCER! haha 


Ok so now I'm supposed to give this to up to 15 bloggers.... I bet these ladies already have this award but just in case they dont I want to make sure they know how much I love them. :)


1. Tillie @ A Nuttier Life (I know you already got this award, but I wanted to give it to you too. <3)
2. Kaitlin @ Ah... My Married Life
3. Ashley @ Stealing baby kisses
4. Courtney @ Cloudy with a chance of Hope
5. Holly @ Ready to be a Mom
6. Kris @ Scrambled Eggs 
7. Michelle @ No, I'm Not Pregnant, Just Fat


LOVE YOU LADIES!!!

The DIY Dish... My favorite meal of the day... Enjoy

Quick Update/Teeter Totter...

QUICK UPDATE:

So last week I was looking online at all the different medicine that I've been on in the last year, and I noticed that I still had a re-fill of Clomid (50mg)... So, the Hubs and I decided to do a cycle of Clomid. What can it hurt? I'm on CD 7 and just took my last pill. We'll see if I actually ovulate... Stay tuned... :)

TEETER-TOTTER:

I am having a hard time balancing my "Real Life" with my "TTC Life". A lot of people don't understand why they have to be separate... but that's just the way it has to be. I've already found out what happens if I am completely consumed with TTC... I started losing myself, and I don't want to do that again. So what do I do??? How do I balance them??? I'm not real sure... I feel like they are two separate people, two different identities... but the real question is How do I keep from letting one side become more dominate than the other? They are both important... Of course you understand why "Real Life" is important, but "TTC Life" is just as important. I need to be focused on being proactive in TTC. I need to make sure that I'm taking my medicines and making sure that I'm not doing anything to hinder my chances of conceiving..... So there you have it, my balancing issue.... Not sure what to do... Anybody got any ideas??? :) 

Recap (May-August)

This is what I've been up to...

-May-
150mg Clo.mid IUI. Negative.

-June-My RE leaves for Austin and time for me to meet my new RE. My new RE, I'm going to call her Dr. Awesome, said that its time for a change. I love her, when I left my old RE I was afraid that I wasn't going to find a new RE that I liked... turns out I'm so mad at my old RE.

My old RE told me that I didn't have PCOS, and that she wasn't sure what was wrong with me... I felt HOPELESS. I was racking my head against a wall trying to figure out what was wrong, stressing out about it. Dr. Awesome takes one look at my chart and my ovaries and says I do have PCOS. She said I have almost EVERY symptom of PCOS.

Dr. Awesome says its time for a new plan, no more Clo.mid. She recommended FSH IUI with injectables ($4000 +), for me to lose weight, take 1500mg of Met.formin, and less stress.

-July-
Hubs and I take a month off to recharge. No FB, No Twitter, No Blogs, No Baby Talk.

It was good and bad. Good because I realized how consumed I was with TTC and how depressed I was. Bad because I had alot of work to do to get my life back.

-August-
I finally feel like myself again. Doing alot of crafting, and hanging out with friends and family, and less time alone crying... PROGRESS!

We are saving money and hopefully will be able to do the FSH IUI January.

FX that 2011 is our year.

Finally Done....

Ok, so I think I'm finally done re-doing my blog. I found some super cute, free backgrounds and buttons over at Shabby Blogs. I love the many designs they do, and they are always updating their collection.

Also, I bought some cute extras from one of the blog designers, This Crazy Life- Michelle Underwood. Go check them out. :)